How to Make Room for What Matters Most This Holiday Season
How many times have you said, "I have to," when you really meant, "I haven't considered that I could choose differently"?
As the holidays approach, our calendars fill with family gatherings, commitments, shopping, cooking, and everything that comes with this time of year. Before we know it, we can feel obligated, overwhelmed, or frustrated by the things we've agreed to do. But what if this holiday season could be different?
I want to invite you to consider a distinction that could change how you experience the weeks ahead. There's a difference between making a decision based on all the reasons you should do something and simply choosing because you choose. One is driven by circumstances, expectations, and what other people might think. The other comes from recognizing that you have a say, whether or not anyone else agrees with your choice.
Think about Thanksgiving. Perhaps you've hosted dinner for years. You handle the shopping, prepare the house, cook the meal, and coordinate everything. When someone asks why you're hosting again, you might say, "Because I've always done it," or "Everyone expects me to." But are those reasons making your decision for you, or are you actually choosing?
What if you simply said, "I'm choosing to host Thanksgiving because bringing my family together matters to me"? The shopping hasn't changed. The cooking hasn't changed. The responsibilities haven't changed. But your relationship to it all can change. You're no longer approaching those responsibilities as something imposed on you. They're part of an experience you've chosen to create.
Freedom begins when you stop living from obligation and start choosing how you want to live.
Now consider the other side. Perhaps you don't want to host Thanksgiving this year. Before you've even decided, you're already thinking about who might be disappointed, what everyone will say, and how you'll explain yourself. How often do we let someone else's potential disapproval dictate our choices? We say yes when we want to say no, make commitments out of habit or obligation, and then grow frustrated by the very things we've agreed to do.
Here's something to consider: You don't have to make someone else wrong to choose differently, and you don't need everyone's approval to choose what matters to you. Choosing doesn't mean disregarding your responsibilities or commitments. It means recognizing that you have a say and taking ownership of your choices.
I often say, "Don't complain about what you choose or permit in your life." That applies to the holidays, too.
What if, before the season begins, you intentionally choose how you want to experience it? Perhaps you choose joy, gratitude, connection, or simply being present with the people you love. That doesn't mean everything will go as planned. People may disagree, circumstances may change, and things may happen that you wouldn't have chosen. But those moments don't have to define your entire experience.
You may not get to choose everything that happens this holiday season, but you do get to choose who you will be in the midst of it.
Before Thanksgiving arrives, take a few minutes to consider what matters most to you this season. What are you choosing because it genuinely matters to you, and what have you been doing simply because you've always done it or because others expect you to?
Then choose how you want to experience the holidays. Not because you should or because someone expects you to, but because you choose to. When invitations, responsibilities, and unexpected moments arrive, come back to that choice.
You have a say in how your life goes. You don't have to wait for everything to fall into place to start experiencing the holidays differently.
Wishing you a beautiful Thanksgiving filled with what matters most.
Love & Big Belief,
Terri
An Invitation to Experience Coaching
Sometimes the most important conversations are the ones we've been having over and over in our minds.
If you've been thinking about something, facing a decision, or want to explore an area of your life with a trusted partner, I'd love to invite you to experience coaching.
Bring what's on your mind. I'll bring the questions and a space to think out loud, gain clarity, and explore what's possible.
I'd be grateful for the opportunity to partner with you.
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